Dark Goatie Goat Milk Soap


Out of stock


Dark Goatie, with lavender, peppermint and eucalyptus, this activated charcoal soap will give you quite the tingle!

This special small batch is totally our regular Whoopi Goatberg soap just temporarily rebranded for our Dark Goatie adventure today. 


8 years ago, we started documenting building our farm and some of you have followed us since we were just a pair of girls with a handful of chickens and a mini pig. We all celebrated donkeys and births of donkeys, followed shortly with our manic acquisition of goats of all tiny sizes. We started with 2, which turned into 4, by the end of the month it was 6 and now we don’t count.

If you have followed since the beginning, or even the past few years, you will be familiar with Goatie Hawn. Goatie was the second baby born here and she owns our heart with her sweetness. Her sweetness, that is, towards humans and she and Jen have been bonded since day one. Goatie is Jen’s original soul goat.

Goatie was the original Casey Anthony of goats but has begun to turn herself around. She used to giggle when she gored a baby, she used to laugh as she launched a kid and she was the founding member and president of the mean girls club that got Blurt Russell moved into the buck pen. (He took the mean girl oath a bit too hard core one day and until they get a bigger pasture, he has to live the the ones that stink and swallow.)

We do not breed Goatie anymore. She has, however, matured into a lovely mother with her last kids and we thought perhaps she had sewn her wild oats. The same way Jen took out most of her facial piercings and switched from murder podcasts to the Lion King soundtrack when I launched Baby Farmpit from my loins, Goatie just softened and it was lovely.

But Jen has recently popped her lip ring back in. She has increased the gauges in her ears from something big to something bigger. As you can see, I am very attentive when she is talking to me about stretching her ear holes. It has been 12.5 years and I guess we have run out of things to talk about as she has told me more about her earlobes in the past year than all the rest of my former lovers combined ever told me of theirs. And recently, as she washes dishes, the melodic and comforting voice of Ashley Flowers narrating cold cases of spousal poisoning is wafting from the kitchen sink again. I should have known Goatie would turn as well.

And now ladies, gents and non-binary friends, we re-introduce Dark Goatie.

Of all the goats that would greet us with a broken horn, it had to be her. She seemed to smile as she walked up to us, all casual and wonky. She might have given Jen a secret wink and if Goggle Translate ever adds goat to its translation services, I think she has been asking for a septum piercing like pigs get.

We checked everyone for signs of impalement. They seem fine. We watch Goatie saunter through the crowd, everyone giving her an extra wide berth and refusing eye contact, the way one would if Casey Anthony walked through the room with a fresh neck tattoo. We are really hoping she broke it on a tree and it seems like the most reasonable explanation, but with a goat like Goatie, no one can really be sure.

Ingredients: goat milk, sunflower oil, RSPO sustainable palm oil, coconut oil, sodium hydroxide, fragrance, peppermint essential oil, eucalyptus essential oil, activated charcoal, mica

Additional information

Weight 4.5 oz